encrefloue (encrefloue) wrote,
encrefloue
encrefloue

LJ Idol: Week 8

Hey, Idol-aters! Got something completely different for you this week. Here is a stream-of-consciousness poem that I improvised aloud and transcribed down. Video provided below for proof.

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Just sit back.
Just keep your eyes closed.
Just feel how it is
to breathe
and let go,
to go into the places
that aren’t
comfortable,
where comfort isn’t able
to touch,
where touch isn’t able
to confine,
where confinements
are all that there are.

I know that they said it couldn’t be done,
and so I didn’t do it—
any of it, at any point—
because they were so damn experienced
and convincing,
and what was I supposed to do
but relax and obey?
That’s what we do these days.
That’s how we know what to say
when there’s nothing to say,
and the real power of what we say—
of our words—
is that words don’t have to be true to be real.
The real power of this structure
is that there is nothing real
and all that we yearn for,
all that we’ve burned for,
all that we have sunk our claws
into the ground crying and pleading for,
is just not there.

The fact of the matter is
is that there is no dictionary for dreams.
We do not have the vocabulary.
We do not have the capillaries
of the rivers that gush
from our brains into mush—
and what do we do
when there’s no outlet
for the torrential downpour
of our soul?

It’s just unrealistic
to think that there’s a goal,
to think that if we portray
some idealistic world
where naysayers
are always flouted
then the plucky heroes
and the triumphant
improbable love stories
are what save the day.
Then what’s left
for the leftovers—
the dregs of us,
the rest of us,
the unmentionable,
unquestionably dead of us?

All that there is of us
are the scraps of tales
in order to be the foils
for the protagonists.
We are the ones that die,
that suffer, that burn, that toil.

Who are the winners?
Who are the ones that reach Mecca?

I just hope that
at the end of the day
at the end of the dream
at the end of the unseemly burden that is the task of happiness

I hope that the words can just stop.

Tags: lj idol
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